Oh man did I have a problem yesterday. It was one of those spur of the moment things, and it took me longer than it should have to “Break-Thought.” I can’t even remember all of the songs that instantly charged through my head. It was like a medley of every awesome woman song that had ever been written. Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison came to mind and then there was, “There she was just a walking down the street singing do wa diddy diddy dum didy do.” My mind was ablaze with guilty passion as I tried in vain to rid it of the fantasies bounding around inside. (Hum…I may have just opened myself up to some empty headed jokes there.) As I tried to change where my mind was going I was stricken with the words of one final song; “My blood runs cold my memory has just been sold, my angel is a centerfold, my angel is a centerfold”

NOT!!!

Here is what really happened. I was standing in Chick-fil-A waiting on a customer to come pick up an order I had put together. I really enjoy doing this because I like to watch people. I like to see the way they look as they get out of their car, or walk into the restaurant. I enjoy observing how they interact as a family, or as co-workers. So, a new economy car pulled into a parking spot just across the drive through lane, and very close to the door. The driver’s side door opened and out stepped a woman with one prominent object that instantly drew my attention. A freshly lit cigarette dangling from her puckered up wrinkly lips. Yup, that was the first thing I noticed. She was a middle aged woman who was not winning the battle against the ravages of smoking.  Literally my first thought was, wow isn’t that sexy? 

Friends, let me be honestly brutal, or brutally honest with you now. There is nothing sexy about a cigarette dangling from the lips of woman. I have heard men, and even teen age boys, say they like it when a woman smokes because that most likely means they will do “other” things as well.  Since I have chapped some you already I may as well continue with my tirade. We, people, have a tendency of thinking things always happen to other people. This may come as a surprise to you, but you is other people, so having said that I will continue with my brutality. If you smoke you increase your chances of lung disease, cancer, emphysema, heart disease, heart attack, etc. Let’s get away from the health risk and consider something else. If you smoke your skin will lose its elasticity, your hair will not have its normal shine, your lips will wrinkle and so will your eyes. Don’t fool yourself into thinking no one has to know you smoke because if you smoke, you stink, your hair stinks, your cloths stink, your car stinks, your house stinks, and your breath stinks.

I’ll come down from my soap box now, my tirade is over. I just need to quietly finish up my feeling on this matter so let me tell you a true story. Every month in Avid Golfer Magazine, a local publication featuring golf in the Metro Plex, there is a cart girl of the month section. A few years back the cart girl of the month was a young lady who worked at the golf course I played regularly. It had some nice pictures of the young lady along with a short question and answer interview. One of the questions was; What is the biggest tip you have ever received? She had given some dollar amount as her answer, but I hope by now she realizes I gave her the biggest tip she ever received. After the magazine came out I congratulated her on the honor and the feature, and then said, “This is none of my business, and please forgive me if I am out of line, but please stop smoking.” She took my comment well, and said “I know I need to but….”

The young lady left the club shortly after that exchange, so I have no idea whether she still smokes or not. I hope she doesn’t, but let me pass along the same advice to you. If you smoke, quit now, if you don’t smoke, don’t start.

Till next time,

Grump