I need to get my man to the country. He needs to learn a few things about being a boy. Now I’m not saying you can’t learn to be a boy in the city, I’m saying I know country, and I’d like to see him get a taste of country living. When he’s older I’d like to have him spend a summer working on a farm chopping cotton, or spraying Johnson grass. I’d like to watch him climb up into the cab of an eight thousand series John Deere tractor and run a tandem disk for a day. Better still I wish he could have a day sitting in the seat of an open top 4020 John Deere pulling a stalk cutter. On a cold day driving into the wind the air is fresh and clean, but it has a bite of cold to it that works its way all the way to the bone. Awe, but when you turn around and drive with the wind at your back the warmth returns and the chill slowly drifts away. There is a price to pay however because with the warmth also comes the dust that the stalk cutter is kicking up behind you.  The dust makes it harder to breath, and it also finds its way into the corners of your mouth, and into corners of your eyes where it cakes up in the moisture formed there while driving into the breeze. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?  

But, that’s for later he’s only five. A weekend ago I spent the day taking care of him and his little sister for a day. While watching the Cowboys play we snacked on Shrimp and cocktail sauce, (ok ya can’t be country all the time) when Major politely said, “I don’t double dip.” It took me a second or two realize that that was his way of saying, “Grumpy, don’t double dip in the cocktail sauce.”  

“I’m sorry Maje, I’ll be sure not to double dip again.

“Thanks Grumps.”

I was probably past my teenage years before double dipping became an issue. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying it’s so. We never saw anything wrong with it, and it didn’t matter if a body was with family or friends. We shared a bottle of coke without worrying about the germs.  You could take a bite off of a candy bar and pass it on without thinking about it either. As a teenager I guess double dipping would have meant taking a pinch of Happy Days from between someone’s cheek and gum and then inserting it between your own cheek and gum. Let me assure you, we would have never done that, but that is double dipping.   

Here are a few things I did as a kid and lived to tell about it. I have been known to drink out of the cow tank, right along with the cows. I also know what it’s like to lick a salt block that the cows have made deep groves in with their tongues. I know what it’s like to take care of my “business” in the pasture and use weed leaves to do the paper work. I know that the best water in the world comes straight out of the ground via an irrigation well. I have enjoyed sneaking out of granddad Clark’s back door to go eat supper with the hired help. Man, I have to stop this right now before I start telling about walking bare foot, in the snow, uphill to and from school every day.

To tell you the truth, I’m not worried about my little man growing up to be a man. He comes in with bruises and cuts everyday it seems, and says “It didn’t hurt, a boy has to be tough, and I’m tough.” The last time he went to get his shots at the Doctor’s office he told me that the shots hurt a little but that he didn’t cry because he was tough. His mom wanted him to put on Mary Alice’s toboggan the other day as we were headed out to play catch with the football.  “Mom, I can’t wear that it’s a girl’s hat.”

Well I guess after thinking about it a little he is doing ok living in the city, and learning that a body shouldn’t double dip. Heck, for all I know the country folks may have gone soft too. As for me, I still don’t see the problem with double dipping…as long I’m DD’n with someone I love, or a really good friend. I don’t have a problem DD’n at church fellowships.  (What, you don’t think Jesus did the double dip thing with bread and gravy?) I can even DD with complete strangers unless their teeth are all gross, then I guess I’d have decide how good the dip really was or how hungry I was.  There is one thing I won’t DD, and that’s a tootsie pop. Well I would DD, or in this case DL (double lick) a tootsie pop with any of the grandkids, or with Paula, Miranda, or Amber, but I’d never DL with a man, that’d just be too gross.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, wait a minute, he drinks with cows, and licks salt blocks with cows, but he won’t stick a tootsie pop in his mouth that another man has already licked? Yup, that’s what I’m saying. Some things are just too gross, even the thought of that gives me the willies.

Till next time,

Grump

This is serious. It is so serious in fact that I am about to use a word that is rarely used by West Texas dirt farmers, or High Plains Cotton Ginners for that matter. I guess that goes to show how far I have come, or gone, depending on your point of view, over the course of the last ten years. Ok, here I go, I am having a…I’m experiencing a… wow, this is uncomfortable…dilemma, there I said it. I am having a dilemma, and I need your help, and advice as to how to handle a recurring situation in my life.

Yesterday afternoon Paula and I went to see The Blind Side. Now let me tell you right now, you have to go see this movie. I don’t know that you can call it a Christmas movie, but if you can, it is my favorite Christmas movie of all time. There are no corny singing scenes that seem to just pop up out of nowhere. No crazy man running down the middle of the street in a blinding snow shouting at everyone about how wonderful things are. I am glad I’m not a High School football coach, or at least the coach portrayed in the movie, but other than that this is a great movie. A positive experience in the same way the book, Same Kind of Different as Me, is positive. I won’t say any more because I don’t want to ruin anything for you, but I do want you to go see The Blind Side. Ok, I will say one more thing for the guys out there who may think this might be a sappy girlie movie. Are you ready? Sandra Bullock looks better than she ever has, and that alone is worth the price of admission.

“Grumps!”

“What?”

“Do I really have to tell you what?”

“Ok, I get the point; I think this may be Sandra Bullock’s best role to date.”

Which brings me back to my pro..bl….dilemma. When we arrived at the theater yesterday Paula went inside while I got in line to buy the tickets. I walked up to the window and said, “Two for The Blind Side please.”

“Yes sir, that’ll be fourteen dollars.”

I handed him a twenty and said “Here ya go.”

“Oh I’m sorry, it’ll be ten dollars.”

Wow, that was nice. “Ok.”

I walked on into the theater, and Paula and I got in line for a shared popcorn and coke. (That was dinner last night.) While rearranging things so I could carry everything, I handed Paula the tickets. She looked at them to see which way we should go in order to get to our showing and said, “Senior Citizen.”

“What?”

“You got the senior citizen discount.”

Now friends, therein lies the problem. What is a man to do when he finds out he unwittingly cheated the system? Now I’ve had the predicament of looking dumber than I really am for my entire life. I kind of like that because it makes it easier to fly under the radar, and then impress people when you accomplish something they didn’t think you were sharp enough to achieve. But this, this is different. Who besides a teenager wants’ to look older than they really are? Just last Saturday afternoon Paula and I went to a piano recital for our eight year old granddaughter, and the gentleman there commented that we were too young to be the grandparents of Mary Alice. Course, he was looking at Paula when he said it. I think the old guy was making a play for the beautiful young chick on my arm.

Back to the dilemma, when someone gives me a senior citizen discount without asking if I am a senior citizen, should I just consider it my good fortune and move on, or should I tell them that I don’t qualify for the discount?  I need you to weigh in on this situation, because I want to do the right thing. Just so you’ll know we went on into the movie, and enjoyed the experience four dollars richer than we had expected to be. I was ok with that until I got to thinking about what had just happened, and then I started to get upset. This young man had insulted me. He had assumed that I was old enough to be a senior citizen.  The audacity of that wet behind the ears sapsucker. What does he know anyway? I bet he shaves using whipped cream and a cat! I was beginning to think I should go visit the manager and let him know how much damage had been do to my self-esteem. In fact, I was thinking the only way to rectify the situation was to receive a full refund for the price of admission. No, wait! That’s not even enough; I should be given two life time passes good for use at any of the chains movie theaters in the entire world! And, and, all the popcorn, coke, candy, and nacho’s me and mine can cram down every time we visit one their retched viewing establishments!  I’m sure that would make me feel better about myself. Yup, take everything I can from the rich folks who own that dump, that’ll show ‘em.  

I’ll give him the fact that my hair is more white than any other color. Course if he watched me walk up he probably thought that any body with that many different limps and gimps has to be old. In fact he may have thought that I was looking pretty young for a man my age. Hum…you know I may have even lifted my false teeth with my tongue while I waited for my tickets, I guess that could make a guy think I was older than I really am. I do have a few wrinkles around the ole eyes, and let’s face it a little shriveled up bag a bones body that looks as if it were trying to steal a bowling ball by covering it with a shirt and jacket might make me look a little older than I am too.

Humm…I don’t know what do you think? Should I just accept the discounts that come my way on occasion, or should I thank them kindly and let them know that I do in fact owe them the full ticket price? Oh, I hope I didn’t offend anyone by using that word, you know, dilemma. I mean it’s not word you hear everyday. There is one thing I need to know. It ain’t no cuss word is it?

Till next time,

Grump

Perception:  

The definition for the word perception comes from Dictionary.com.  I got to thinking this morning about how I have been perceived over the course of my life and came to realize how differently a person can come across to each individual they encounter.  Below is a list of terms or phrases used about me by people who have been a part of my life, even if for only a short time.

In Control                                                 Arrogant                                              Hick

Short tempered                                         Self Assured                                        Cute

Soft Hearted                                              Sissy                                                   Small Minded 

Judgmental                                                Strong Willed                                     Dreamer     

Caring                                                        Intimidating                                       Winner

Compassionate                                          Take Charge                                       Loser

Obnoxious                                                 Leader                                                Loud Mouth

Loving                                                       Easy to Identify With                        Unprepared

Real                                                           Has Little Man Syndrome                  Servant

He Touches People                                    Plain Spoken                                      Stupid

Handsome                                                  Ugly Little Runt                                 Big Man

As you can see I have been perceived in a number of ways, some good, some not so good. In many ways all deserved depending on the circumstances, in other ways undeserved and out of line.  Thing is, we make judgments everyday about the people we come into contact with. Many times it’s a first impression, but the judgments are often refined as we come to know the person.  In the end all a person can do is be themselves, while striving to become better selves. By becoming more Christ like a person can eliminate the negative impressions, and replace them with positive ones.

I had one man in the cotton ginning industry call me “B.S.S.S.” I asked him what that stood for, and he said “Big shot small stature.” The man, who called me intimidating, is a former NFL linebacker. WHAT?!!! The one who called me an “Arrogant little SOB” asked me to speak at his seven year old son’s funeral service.

When I look back at my successes, and failures, the positive relationships, and the negative relationships, I can only hope that the people who have been a part of my life will ultimately understand that I am just an ordinary man trying to become more Christ like every day. I guess that’s why while putting this list together I feel better about one of the perceptions than all of the others; “you touched me.” The man who said that was an acquaintance at the time, but today he is one of my very best friends. God thank you for using me to “touch” people in a positive way, and may the glory be all Yours.

Till next time,

Grump

OK, it’s confession time. This is not a new confession, but it’s been a while so I thought I’d re-confess for those of you who missed it the first few times. Well…wait a minute, let me think about this, maybe this is a slightly different confession than before. Yes I’m sure it is.

When I signed up for Facebook I did it strictly for business purposes. It was not something I was looking forward too. It wasn’t something I needed to do in terms of finding old friends or making new ones. It was something that seemed to make sense for telling people about my book. So, the confession I’ve made before is that I’m only on FB to promote me and Everyday Christianity. Well my new confession is that I am really enjoying FB. The reason? Because I have found old friends, and have made some new ones. I have discovered things about people I have known for twenty or thirty years that I didn’t know before, and I have met some inspiring folks. Folks who are helping me become a better person.

Here are a few examples of some old friends and new acquaintances that are making me a better Christian.

Brad Woosley. I have known Brad since he started kindergarten with my son Josh. Those guys are now thirty-one years old. I would have never guessed that Brad would be posting “Things I am thankful for.” every morning on FB. That’s not all; I wouldn’t have thought that he would be posting a scripture on Facebook every morning. It’s not that Brad was a bad kid growing up, he wasn’t a bad kid. I guess I just didn’t know him as well as I should have. Brad thanks for the daily inspiration you provide to me and many others every day.

Trey Morgan. I know Trey because of Facebook. He is the preaching minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. Trey has a killer blog going, one that I read regularly. He is funny, and wise. His comments provide insight. He makes me stop and think about the way I live and serve. Trey, keep blessing us bro.

Paul O’Rear, the “silly ole bear.” I ran across him while looking for ministers on FB. I wanted to let ministers know about my book, I wanted to use them as a means of telling others about it. The table has turned for me however, because Paul’s experience of suffering the pain of losing a daughter to cancer has inspired to be more thankful for what I have; a beautiful family. Now I’ve even heard from a few of the folks that go to church with Paul and the sentiment seems to be that Paul O’Rear hung the moon. I’m not sure about that, but I’m checking into it.

Elaine Freeman. I’ve reconnected with Elaine Freeman. She and I went to school together for twelve years. It would have been thirteen years but Loop didn’t have kindergarten back in the dark ages. I don’t know what her life has been like for last thirty-five or so years, but I know she shares her happy spirit with me. Elaine always has smile in her comments, and leaves me with a positive feeling. That’s quiet an accomplishment considering I’m know as Grumpy. Thanks girl.

Delilah Ingle. Lila and I were good friends in high school, in fact I kinda always wanted to take her out, but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Now I ask you, how much since does that make? Anyway, Lila was the first “old friend” to let me know how much she enjoyed reading my book. She has passed it around, and told everyone she knows about it. Lila, this is a long time coming, but I want you to know how much your friendship meant to me when we were in school, and how much it means to me now. Thanks, and I love you.

I do have a problem with Facebook. Facebook can be time consuming; a body could spend a whole day just following one friend to the next. I got other things ta do ya know!  I cain’t just sit around all day get’n all inspired my everbody, I gotta go do some inspir’n my own self.  

So, in the end I have come to the conclusion that my selfish motivation has turned into a blessing. I am blessed by being touched everyday by old friends, and new friends, by “friends” that I don’t have a clue who they are, but have ended up being my friend just because they are a friend of one of my friends. (I think what I just said makes sense, go back and read it a few times and you’ll get it, kinda like starring at one of those pictures until the real pictures comes into view.) Yup, it’s a blessing to live in a time where one individual has the ability to connect to the world and gain inspiration, and comfort from friends, both old and new.

Till next time,

Grump

Early yesterday morning I went into Chick-fil-A to put together an order that needed to be delivered. As I checked in I overheard a conversation between the manager and a customer. The customer was not a happy camper. Rae handled the situation properly and the lady left the store.  A few minutes later I got the opportunity to sit and visit with Rae. I could tell she was a little down, and who can blame her, who wants to start off the work week by dealing with a complaint? I asked her if everything was alright, and she said, “Yes, it was nothing to get upset about.” What she said next has had me thinking ever since.

“I hate this time of year.”

“What? Why do you hate this time of year?”

“This is supposed to be a happy time of year. We should all be thinking about each other. We should all be thinking happy thoughts, but all I see are people who are so wrapped up in getting ready for Christmas that they forget to act like Christians.” She went on to say, “People are more demanding, and less thoughtful of others during Christmas than any other time of the year.”

You know, I expect she’s right. It does seem that Christmas adds stress to our lives. There are so many things to be done, so many gifts to be bought, so much money, that we don’t have, that must be spent. The pressure of getting it all done is consuming us and we don’t even realize it. This time of year we should be thinking more about others, we should be loving more, and serving more. We should not be more demanding of some in order to be more thoughtful to others.

Colossians 3:16-17 (New International Version)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Till next time,

Grump

Josh and Amber were at the Cowboys game yesterday. He told me after the game that the loudest boo of the game came in the third quarter when they turned on the 3D effects on that huge HD TV hanging in Jerry’s palace, and that the loudest cheer of the day came when they turned off the 3D effects. Such is the life of Cowboys football these days, the atmosphere out shines the product. A head may be had over the decision to use 3D, but it won’t be the right head. A coach will surely lose his job after this season, finger pointing will be done, but the problem in the Cowboys Kingdom will remain; the GM is the worst in the business now that Matt Millen is no longer in Detroit. The GM must go, but that ain’t gonna happen.   

On a much lighter note, with Josh and Amber taking in the game it was my privilege to go and take care of Major and Milla for the day. The day was a true blessing for ole Grumpers. Major and I played catch for a while. We watched the Cowboys debacle. We ate shrimp cocktail, Sunchips, and cold cereal for sup last night. Miss Milla and I played, talked and I helped her walk. We shared the experience of a stinky diaper. We gave each other a lot of sugar, and I got in my workout for the week. Carrying that girl up and down sixteen steps should become part of the Biggest Loser workout.  

It amazes me how God works. I have spent the last few days wondering what I should do next. I am having a hard time finding speaking engagements. I have begun to wonder if Everyday Christianity has had its run.  I have been contemplating getting a “real” job. Then, I went to worship yesterday morning and was approached by four individuals at four different times, and each time I was told how God had used me to touch either them or someone they knew within the last few weeks. I went to work at the Allen Events Center Friday evening and was approached by the man I work for at the Dr. Pepper Ballpark in Frisco, here is what he said. “Hey Grumpy I didn’t know you had written a book until after the season, but I got a copy of your book. I haven’t read it yet but I sent it to my mom and dad and they told me it was a very good book, and they wanted me to tell you that the next time I saw you.” Receiving “atta-boys” helped me to see that God has a purpose for me.

“Grumpy.”

“What?”

“Trust in the Lord’s timing.”

“I know, but I get impatient, I’m ready to bust loose.”

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Till next time,

Grump

For some reason I remember many of the things I did, or things that happened to me during my life. It’s been fun to hear from friends who were involved in some of these events after I have written about them on my blog. Many times the friend will say, “I didn’t remember that at all.” or “How do you remember all that?” To tell you truth I don’t know how or why I remember the things I remember. Really, many of the things that come to mind are just little events that for some reason have stuck in my mind. 

Sometimes I wish I didn’t keep many of the memories because they are memories of my hurting someone through my actions, or of me being hurt by someone’s actions. It can be a good thing to remember those times if we use them for change, but it can also be damaging if we continually use those memories to relive a painful time. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think about my four partners who lost money in the golf store. There’s nothing I can do about it now but I still go over the way it all went down, and think of ways that I could have lessened their loss. On the other hand I think about the relationships I had with all four of the partners before the store debacle and see the beauty of great friendships there.

Here’s the conclusion I have come to in terms of my extensive memory of my life, my relationships, my successes and my shortcomings. The Lord has blessed me richly, and He has helped me grow by allowing a few bad times to be scattered in among all the great times. He has also given me a platform, an opportunity to help others by using my life examples and experiences. I know each of you have had experiences that have helped mold you into the person you are today, so I want to encourage you to use them as a way to help others wherever, and whenever you can. If you are accomplished in woodworking, pass along those skills to someone who is interested in woodworking. I know I could continue listing examples but I expect you are smart enough to get my drift, so, as my ole friend Danny Young used to say, “Do what you do do best.” I believe by doing so you will be serving the Lord, by serving others. Cherish the good times, learn from bad times, and always be thankful that the Lord is in control, if you allow Him to be.

Humble yourselves in the site of the Lord and He will lift you up. James 4:10

Till next time,

Grump

Hi Friends, I received this message from my good friend and Brother, and I want to pass it along to you. Paul and his wife lost their precious daughter to cancer a few years ago, and ever since then he has been using her death to promote Christ. Please read his letter and pass it along. Let’s see if we can get some serious air time for “Until Then.”

Till next time,

Grump 

Paul O’Rear December 6 at 10:21pm Reply

Dear Facebook Friends,

I need a favor. I recently uploaded my song “Until Then” to the Jango Internet Radio network. Thanks to lots of great friends (as well as a bunch of people I don’t even know, who liked the song), I’ve already received well over 300 “I like” votes! That’s exciting, because the more votes my song gets, the more it will be put into the general rotation of songs on Jango Internet Radio, and the more people will hear it.

To learn more about the song “Until Then” (written in memory of my precious daughter Ashley), you can visit my blog at http://www.sillyoldbear.net/2009/12/until-then/.

My goal for this song is to get as much exposure for it as possible, so that maybe it can help someone else who is going through the grief of losing a child, and also as a way of keeping Ashley’s memory alive.

To listen to the song and vote for it, open your web browser to http://www.jango.com/music/Paul+O+Rear. This will take you to the Jango Radio website, and my song should start playing automatically.

IF YOU LIKE THE SONG (I wouldn’t want you to lie!), click on one of the smiley icons under the song name in the Jango player (top right). There are three smilies. The one on the left shows a frown; clicking it means “I don’t like this song”. (Naturally, I would prefer that you not click this icon!) Clicking the middle smiley means “I like this song”. Clicking the right smiley (really big grin) means “I love this song”.

When you click on one of the icons, a pop-up window will ask you to “Sign up to keep listening”. I’m pretty sure your vote counts even if you don’t sign up. However, signing up allows you to create and save your own personalized radio station, which you can come back and listen to as often as you want. You can specify your favorite artists and your station will play songs from them, songs from similar artists, and every once in a while a song from a new or unknown artist (like me) with the opportunity for you to help “make them” or “break them” with your vote.

Thanks for your help.

Paul

I was just thinking about some of the events that have occurred in my life over the last week or so, and decided to share a few thoughts with you about them.

No matter how up or down I am a smile from Ranger melts me, warms me, and can brighten an already glistening day. His smile is the first thing I see when I turn on this computer every morning.

There may be nothing better to lift my spirits than having Miss Milla crawl up to me, pull herself up using my pants leg as an aid, and then look at me and say, “mup.” That’s an eleven month olds word for come up.

The blessings just kept on flowing for me. I hadn’t seen Major in a week or so, so when he greeted me the other day by saying “Hey Grump, are you excited about us going to the game together?” I was at a loss as to what game he was talking about. So I said “Which game Major?” He said, “Opening day for the Texas Rangers Grumps, don’t you remember we’re going to opening day next year?”

Mary Alice, the helper. She will do anything she can to help. She helps cook, she helps clean up, she helps take care of the little ones, and she always helps me have a great day. I love her hugs, and her “Grumpy, I love you.”

My boys Josh, Chad, and Major, and I got to play golf on Thanksgiving Day. It was a shotgun start and we started on number thirteen at Plantation. Number thirteen is the shortest hole on the course with water from the tee to the green. After we all hit our first shots into the water on this one hundred-ten yard hole keeping score was never mentioned. I have no idea what any of us shot that day, and I don’t care. It wasn’t about who won, (I always do.) J what mattered was spending the morning with my boys. I hate to rush time, but I am looking forward to Ranger being able to join us.

Another “Hero” has shown that he is human. Tiger is just an ordinary man. He puts his pants on one leg at a time just like you and me. Make Jesus your Hero, He “kept His pants zipped.”

One of the hardest things a teacher, preacher, or public speaker can do is stand and read from a book, and be able to keep the audience engaged. Most of class Wednesday evening was spent with me reading the fourth chapter of Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The chapter had called my dedication to Christ into question, and I felt his perspective was so revealing that I had to share it with others.   For the most part I kept the listeners with me. After the service was over I had a lot of folks thank me, and say that I had made it engaging. Well, to be honest I thought it had gone well, there are always sleepers and gazers, but I also made it a point to make sure that most of those in attendance were with me. (Yes, friends a speaker can tell whether or not you are listening.) I believe they were. BUT, it will most likely be another twenty-five to thirty years before I do it again.

I have seen the question asked over and over again this week, “Can the war in Afghanistan be won?” My first reaction is no. As soon as we leave it will be overrun once again. However I know that the outcome of the war, win or lose, will be determined by God.

Here are a few other things I’ve observed this week. The “house that Jerry built” or “Deathstar” as some have come to call it is amazing, and the huge HD screen is outa sight. The Saints are scary good. Did they put on a show or what? The Texas Tech Red Raiders have always, and still do play to the level of their competition.

One final thing. I spect you folks may have noticed that I didn’t say anything about the joy the girls in my life bring to me. Well, I always eat the crust on an angel food cake last, I always save the top bread crust on a piece of toast for last, I always save that last swallow of cold milk until after I have taken the last bite of food. I other words I always save the best for last. Paula, Miranda, and Amber are the good in all of the rest in the Kent Smith clan. Being lifted and loved by these girls keeps my light for life shining. The easiest thing I do is love Paula.

Till next time,

Grump

White water is bad news. It’s scary. It should be avoided except under extreme circumstances.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. Matthew 5:13

Jesus spoke these words as part of His “Sermon on the Mount” lesson to the disciples. He used language that the hearer could understand. They knew what it meant to have salt that use useless. If Jesus were giving the same lesson to me today I think He would use language that I understand. I think He would give an example that I could identify without further explanation.

Therefore, Jesus would say “You are the milk of the earth. But if the milk loses its butterfat, how can it be made good again?

” WHAT?!!! Grumps have you lost your mind?”

“No, I have not lost my mind. This is a conversation between Jesus and me, and I don’t think there is anything more useless than milk that has lost its butterfat.”

I went to the 7-11 to pick up some milk last weekend while the kids were staying with us. Paula told me to get one percent because she thought that’s what the kids drank at home. I reluctantly entered the store and made my way to the milk section in the far back corner. I was bemoaning the fact that I was about to spend good money on a worthless product. I’m a milk lover not a one percent’r. I never dreamed that the situation could get worse. They didn’t have one percent milk. They had real milk, the kind we were intended to drink. The kind that is wonderful, and cold, and comforting, and refreshing. They had two percent milk, the kind that has been compromised and is beginning to lose its goodness.  Then they had Fat Free Skim Milk, white water. I was literally shaking as I reached into the cooler, past the real thing, past the semi acceptable, all the way to the useless.

I carried the container of white water to the counter keeping an eye out for anyone who might know me. I was always aware of where I could ditch the vile drink so they wouldn’t know I was buying it. If I couldn’t ditch it in time I would simply plead insanity. I made it to the counter and kept my head low avoiding eye contact with clerk. I felt shame. I felt naucious, (sp) I felt noseouse (sp) ok let’s try this, I felt like throwing up. The clerk had to pry the money from my hand as I cried uncontrollably. I was dirty, I needed a shower.

All too soon the weekend was over. The kids and grandkids had gone home, but there it sat in the back of my coolerator, a sixty-four ounce container with sixty-three ounces of white water remaining inside. I thought, what am I going to do? I really can’t just pour it out. I certainly can’t drink it, and the worse thing I could do is pour it over a nice bowl of corn flakes. Corn flakes are made for rich, smooth, ice cold whole milk, real milk. White water turns the flakes to mush in a matter of seconds. I came to a compromise I will live with for two or three more days and then it will all be over. Well the milk will be gone; the trauma however will haunt me for eons to come. For the past few days I used the white water to cool and thin my hot cereal every morning. One day oat meal, the next day my Mighty Tasty Hot Cereal from Bob’s Red Mill, and now it’s almost gone, but I’d be lying if I said it was just as good as real milk. It’s not.  Even as a thinner/cooler agent it is inadequate. I should have just poured it out days ago.

They say that skim milk is good for you, and they may be right after all it does taste as bad as castor oil. . In this instance however I choose to run the risk. I choose to enjoy my mornings with a nice cold one, a glass of pure white whole milk and a bowl of piping hot oat meal cooled down and thinned with a few ounces of the amazing liquid.

The way I see it, of all the things God made to nourish us His best creation was milk, whole milk, real milk. Ugh, I shudder to think of the depths to which men have gone. Fat free milk, white water? We have taken that which was perfect and made it almost useless.

Till next time.

Grump