I realize that the only stories I’ve written that mention my exploits on the football field describe me as being the ultimate bench warmer, and that may be a little misleading. In fact I am responsible for a setting the field on fire during my playing days. Literally. It happened on a calm sunny day in late winter. Mike and I were into model rockets, and rockets are science right? So we convinced our science teacher that a rocket flying demonstration would be an educational experience for the class. We set up the demonstration on the football field, as I remember it was on about the west thirty-yard line. On the countdown I pushed the button that would heat the ignition wire to light the solid fuel engine. The rocket took off as it should, but than something went wrong, and the body of the ship caught fire, and came crashing to the ground. Ground covered with a long, thick mat of dry dormant Bermuda grass.

That was the beginning of one of the longest walks of my life. After stomping around on the burning grass like a bunch maniacs we were finally able to get the fire put out, at which time the science teacher said, “Smith, you better go tell Mr. Mac what you’ve done.” Notice that. “What you’ve done.” Like I was in this all by myself. Yep, it was a very long walk to the Superintendent’s office. I must have looked like a scared rabbit when I got there because Mr. Mac calmly asked me if the fire was out, and after I told him yes, we simply walked back out to the field so he could have a look, and that was the end of that. Here’s the good part of the story, come springtime there was a beautiful circle of lush green grass marking the spot on the field where my rocket had left it’s mark. It was the first grass to green up, and it was the greenest spot on the field all summer long. Even a disaster can have a positive outcome.

I left you yesterday with Mike’s blistered little finger. A finger that as far as I know has never regained it’s feeling. The thing is Mike has learned to live with it. He knows that he needs to make sure he doesn’t put that finger in harms way because the finger is not able to notify his brain that it is being hurt. BTW, you will remember this was proven in a scientific study conducted by me. I know from whence I speak. Just as the human body can continue to function, and overcome an injury that makes it unable to function as intended, it can still function effectively. Other parts of the body can take the responsibility of protecting the part that cannot protect itself. Friends, the body I’m talking about now is the body of family, the body of my family, the body of your family, and even the body of Christ, his church. Too many times I have seen families, or congregations of the Lord’s body over react to the injury of one of its members. Many times the action taken is more damaging to the body than the original injury.

I personally know one man who lost the use of his arm, and another who lost his arm completely because they made the decision to stop treatment on the injury instead of working to save or repair the damage that was done in industrial accidents. The first man chose to stop surgeries that would enable him to raise his hand as the wrist. As a result he has to use his other hand to place the injured one in position to hold an object. The second man chose to have his arm amputated just below the elbow instead of working to save it. A decision that I know he now regrets, a decision that cannot be reversed. 

As a member of the body I should do everything in my power to protect the other people of the body. I should do my part in helping mend the part of the body that has been hurt, or that has intentionally hurt itself. I must learn that we may have different views or different ways of doing things, but that doesn’t mean that one or the other is not part of the body. (Romans 12, I Cor. 12)

I don’t know if Neil Diamond wrote the song or not, but he is the first I heard sing it. The name of the song is Husbands and Wives, and here are the words.

Two broken hearts lonely looking like houses
Where nobody lives
Two people each having so much pride inside
Neither side forgives

Whoa, it’s my belief pride is the chief cause in the decline
in the number of husbands and wives

I have two more stories to tell you tomorrow. I hope the things I am writing help us all to realize that love for the family is paramount in the church, and the family.

Till next time,

Grump

Back up and give me some room, ole Grumps is about to wax philosophical. Sometimes I amazeses myself when I have these bouts of inspiration. I’ve been tossing things around in my head this morning that I could write about, and as I was brushing my teeth a minute ago it hit me. I have no idea why, but it hit me that we are all in this life thing together. Everything I do today will have some sort of an effect on someone else. Even a profession that appears to be singular in nature effects may lives, and the same is true of an individual sport. My son Josh is a dentist, and his skill is an individual talent. However, even though he could do what he does by himself, he can operate much more efficiently with the help of a dental assistant.  Tiger is the best professional golfer in the world, and golf appears to be an individual sport, but don’t you think his caddy helps him? Doesn’t Nike have a hand in his success, and vise versa?

Well since I think those examples make sense let’s apply those thoughts to families and church. Both Romans chapter twelve, and I Corinthians chapter twelve talk about the body being made up of many parts, and without those parts working together as intended the body cannot function properly. It says that the parts of the body that are seen and heard seem to be more important than the parts that are not seen or heard, but then it tells us that is not the case. Let me offer a few illustrations to this point.

I’ve already told you that I was the undefeated champion of bench guarding for the Loop Longhorn football team. I was never actually called on to defend the bench, but the coaches made sure that I was stationed, and at the ready, on that bench in the unlikely event the other team ever decided to come and take our bench. Did that mean I was not part of the football team? Absolutely not. Every day I dressed for practice and stationed myself in such a way that I sacrificed myself to make the team better. Every Thursday the team would practice kickoffs, and every Thursday Daddy Young would run down the field, and in a fashion that seemed funny to him, knock my jock in the dirt. So you see, I made Danny a better blocker by allowing him to hone his skill on my hunard an tuwney pound skeleton and skin body. Just think about it. Without me the mighty Longhorns may have gone 4 and 6 instead of 5 and 5, and even though my game uniform never had to washed because it was never soiled, I was contributing to the over all good of the team.

An injured body can’t function as it was intended, it may not be able to defend itself, as it should. Mike Young was part of the Longhorn team too, but his body suffered an injury, and so the team suffered too. You see I wasn’t big and bad enough to guard both the bench and the water can, so Mike had to man up in the slightly more likely event that the opposing team would commandeer the can. However, in the first scrimmage of the year against another team, Mike was knocked down, and while in the process of getting back to his feet received an injury that ended his playing career. As he placed his hand on the ground and began pushing himself upward someone hit his elbow, and the elbow socket was destroyed. It took two or three surgeries to get his elbow back in working condition, but even then it was never the same. Nerves had been destroyed that could not be repaired or replaced, and even though the arm worked he lost feeling in the little finger of his hand. I felt the need to check Mike out on this fact. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Mike or anything, I just thought he might be playing it for sympathy with the girls or something so I took it on myself to make sure he was on the up and up. Mike and I shared a lab desk in science class. He sat on the outside and I sat on the inside, which put me close to the Bunsen burner.  One day I caught him looking the other way and slipped the lighted burner under his no feel finger. Once I saw the blister start to form, and Mike had not taken his finger away from the flame, I was convinced that he was telling the truth. The injury had taken away his bodies natural ability to protect itself. It had lost it’s feeling. I was relieved to learn that his body could heal a burn even though it couldn’t feel the burn, but that’s another story.

I think I’ll leave it that today, tomorrow I’ll continue with this lost feeling thing.

Till next time,

Grump

I hooked up with Paul O’Rear a few months ago on FaceBook. Paul is a minister at the College St. Church of Christ in Waxahachie, TX. He and I have had occasion to message back and fourth a few times, he had ordered a copy of my book, and we have visited about a mutual friend who has been touched by my two YouTube videos about depression. Friday of last week Paul posted an invitation to a benefit breakfast for The Moral Courage Foundation. The event sounded like a great opportunity for me to go down and meet Paul face to face, and to learn about this foundation.

The next morning I headed south on I35 for the one hour drive looking forward to meeting the legend, Paul O’Rear. The members of the College St. congregation will tell you, they think Paul hung the moon so I felt I should at least shake his hand. When I first arrived, I paid ten dollars for a five-dollar ticket that would allow me to eat all the pancakes I could eat. That is all the glutin filled pancakes that I am not supposed to eat given that I have been diagnosed as having Celiac Disease. Oh well, it was for a good cause. I got two strips of bacon and one small pancake, and set out to find Paul. I saw him sitting with two ether men visiting. I sat across from him and began picking at my food. Paul looked up and acknowledged me as he continued talking to the others.  A moment later he glanced up again, but this time he took a little closer look, and then extended his hand and introduced himself. I took his hand and said, “Hi Paul, I’m Grumpy Smith.”

It was fun to see his reaction as he said, “I thought you looked like Grumpy Smith.” From there the conversation flowed freely with him thanking me for making the trip down, and me telling him the pleasure was all mine. I asked him about the event being held and what it was all about, and as he gave me the history and intent of The Moral Courage Foundation I found myself being more and more thankful that I had made the trip. In short, here is the history behind The Moral Courage Foundation. Dean Kilmer, long time minister for the College St. church wrote a book in 2007 titled Igniting the Moral Courage Of America: Six Ways You Can Inspire People To Live With Integrity. That book inspired one of his church members to start the foundation. The Foundation’s purpose is to provide a twenty-five thousand dollar scholarship to a deserving High School graduate every year. The student doesn’t have to be on the honor roll, they don’t have to be star athletes, or the offspring of the who’s who in town. They only need to be a model of Moral Courage.

The Foundation has a board of directors, and is supported by several different churches in town. It is not a Church of Christ scholarship it is a nondenominational foundation, and the student may attend any college or university he or she chooses. I must admit I got really excited about this foundation, and my first comment was, “This could be huge.” I ask if they intended to expand to other towns across the country and was told yes. They said they wanted to make sure they had the bugs worked out before taking it to the next level, and they felt it was almost time to take that step.

Friends I wanted to tell you about this wonderful work, and I want to encourage you to pray for the Foundation, and it’s leadership as they consider the future of this program. I would also like to encourage you to get a copy of Dean Kilmer’s book Igniting the Moral Courage Of America. You can find it at www.amazon.com. I was given a copy on Saturday and will begin reading it today. You may also want to take a look at the Foundation’s web site at www.moralcouragefoundation.org  

Till next time,

Grump

Maybe you’ve noticed that most Friday’s I try to do something fun, or light for my post. I can’t do that today. I need to do a short follow up on yesterday’s post. I have received some private feedback on my post from yesterday.  One comment was that the post had hit him right in the face. He said he had not told his mother-in-law she would never see her grandchildren again, but he had thought it might come to that. He thanked me for helping him see how damaging that could be.

Another thing I’d like to mention seems obvious to me, but I know it is human tendency to dodge fault, so let me clear up any misunderstanding you may have built in self-defense. Just because I gave the example of the daughter-in-law saying you will never see your grandkids again that doesn’t mean I’m out to get daughter-in-laws. Anyone involved in a relationship that pits one “side” against another needs to think about what I wrote. The only side I’m taking is the side of love, and love will make it possible to get the differences worked out so a family can stay together, and grow in love.

Love will never demand, or even ask for a choice to be made as to who your favorite is. Do you love me more than you other granddad? Does your other aunt give you things like this? You know your daddy doesn’t love you as much as I do. Any type of question, statement, or insinuation that pits one against another in family relationships is damaging, not loving, and at the very core it is selfishness in action.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Cor.13:4-7 (NIV)

Till next time,

Grump

Friends this note if going to be short, but it may not be sweet. In my opinion, aside from my relationship with God, there is nothing in this world more important than my relationship with family. Those relationships grow over our life times and as the older relationships mature we take on new family relationships. Each new bonding changes the focus and attention given to the older relationship, but that doesn’t mean the older connection has died. It means it has born fruit.

I have recently become aware of an extended family relationship that is suffering. A daughter-in-law pitted against her mother-in-law for the love of her son. The prized weapon being use to wage the battle…the children. I don’t know the words that were used, but the intent is this, because you have done thus you will never see your grandchildren again.  The line has been drawn; the husband caught in the middle has to decide. He will side with his wife, even though he knows there should be no choice that has to be made, the bond with his wife is stronger than the older more mature relationship that he has with his mother. The older relationship is strained, but can never be broken. The mother will back away, because she knows the new relationship takes precedence. Now she will be robbed of growing her bond with the grandkids. Why?

Life is a gift given by God. A wife or a husband is a gift given by God. A son or daughter is a gift given by God. Children and grandchildren are a gift given by God. He intended these gifts to be cherished, and enjoyed, and shared. Each layer of relationships growing in love, and making way for the next layer to do the same, each layer living in love for the growing family. God never intended for it to become “either this or that,” He intended a body of one, made up of many members. The cancer that has entered, and is now destroying that body, is pride and selfishness, and neither has a place in the body of love.

If what I have written doesn’t make sense to you, read it again, and think about it.

If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. I John 4:20

Till next time,

Grump

Remember Sally Fields at that awards show years ago where after receiving yet another award says something like, “you love me…you really love me.”? Well, “You missed me… you really missed me. The outpouring of love for my blog has been amazing. The questions from all of you concerning my not posting a blog yesterday has been overwhelming. It is so nice to know that so many of you hang on each day just waiting for me to post so you can move on with your day. I am…

”KENT, there was one person who asked where your post was yesterday. Get over your self!”

Ugh, Ok, Ok, I guess I was caught up in a little dream world there, but let me tell you about yesterday. Yesterday, Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage held a business conference for its associates. Sue Meyer the President of Coldwell Banker Dallas Fort Worth invited me speak at the event. She had read and enjoyed my book, and Judy Patane, my office manager at Coldwell Banker in Frisco had also told her that I was a good speaker. Sue not only asked me to share a few words, she also provided a table for me to display and sell my book. Everything turned out really well, and I was able to sell a few books and make some good contacts.

One of the really cool things about the opportunity was being on the stage with some very accomplished people. The other two speakers were Bruce Zipf, President and CEO of NRT LLC, and Charles McMillan, President of the National Association of Realtors. These guys are big hitters in the real estate industry, and it was an honor to be included on the program with them. These two gentlemen provided the nuts and bolts, and facts and figures, while I provided a few moments of fun stories designed to give the attendees four “take-aways” that will help them have better relationships with their clients, and enable them to grow their business.

“KENT!”

“What?”

“You’re doing it again. You didn’t giv’em squat.”

“Whad’a you mean I didn’t giv’em squat? Take-away number one, S.O.T.S. that one alone was worth maybe millions. T-W number two…hum…well ok maybe take-away number two wasn’t something a person is going to use everyday, but it might come in handy when they go on vacation. Number three you gotta admit is pretty good, Break-Thought. Those two words have been very beneficial for folks by reminding them to stop dwelling on the negative, or harming thoughts, and refocus on the positive. And then giving them the simplest definition of love as take-away number four, that is price-less information.”

“Hum…maybe you really did giv’em something good.”

Ok, back to reality, I do want to thank Sue for inviting me to be a small part of a very big day. I also need to publicly beg Charles McMillan for forgiveness. I used him as my punching bag, and I am very grateful that he has a good sense of humor. Finally, I want to thank a guy I will likely never see again. This gentleman works for the Westin Hotel where the event was held. He was the man assigned to make sure our tech equipment worked hand in hand with the hotel’s system. He stopped by my table yesterday, and said, “Grumpy, I hear speeches and presentations everyday, and I wanted to tell you that your talk was one of the best I’ve ever heard.”

Those of you, who know me, know that one of love languages is affirmation, or “atta-boy,” and that was a wonderful “atta-boy.” That man didn’t have a dog in the hunt, but he let me know he liked what he’d heard. Thanks mister hotel soundman.

Till next time,

Grump

Special moments come and go. Sometimes we see them and appreciate them, other times we see them, but miss them. I had three special moments this weekend that I would place in the touch category. I like to be touched, but the touch doesn’t have to be physical in nature. Let me explain.

Saturday evening I had just returned home from grabbing a family size order of wings and fries from Wingstop when I glanced over, and saw my best boys, Ranger eight months old, and Major five years old sitting in the living room floor watching a video on TV.  Ranger was in a diaper, Major had on one of his super hero tee shirts and a pair of jeans. The special moment for me was seeing them there and noticing that Major had his hand on Rangers back. You know just a touch of support from the big guy to the little guy. It wasn’t a conscious touch from Major, it was a supporting, loving touch that I don’t expect he even knew he was giving.

The second touch was a spontaneous touch that happened with the two of us never getting within twelve feet of one another.  We have a few people who worship at McDermott Road church of Christ that are fighting cancer in one form or another. As I stood behind the welcome counter yesterday morning I saw one of those cancer fighters walking through the foyer. She is a beautiful thirty something lady who has gone from having a gorgeous head of flowing hair to being bald, and is now sporting the most amazing crew cut you have ever seen. As she walked by our eyes met and I said “Hey girl, love the new look.” To which she smiled and said, “Yes, I thought I’d copy your style for a while.”

The third touch involves Major again. As I was returning home from Wingstop Saturday evening I was stricken by visual disturbances called clusters. Many of you reading this will know where this is going. A migraine was setting in. Within minutes of getting home I had taken some medication and was in bed. Sunday morning I got up, went to church with Paula, Mary Alice and Major, and then we went to the Cotton Patch to eat lunch. I felt horrible; the migraine hangover was kicking me in the tail. As soon as we got back home I was back in bed, which meant Paula had to take the kids home by herself. She made the one-hour trek to Crowley and visited with Josh, and Amber for a while. When it was time for her to leave Major started yelling wait, wait, I have something for you to take to Grumpy. He had gone up stairs and made a combination get well card for me, and a thank you card for Nonnie (Paula). He had even made an envelope to put his homemade get well card in. He touched me by his concern, and he touched Nonnie by his expression of thanks.

Touches come in many forms, and fashions. They can be physical or they can be thoughtful. Touches, to me are just loving moments shared between people, and can be enjoyed by those not even included in the touch. Touches are special moments either shared or noticed that warm the heart.

Till next time,

Grump

It was a game that should have never been played. It wasn’t on the schedule, and it was played during the Christmas holidays. That’s right Christmas Holidays, not winter break. Alright Grump this ain’t about PC, this a story about a game that should have never been played. The thing is our first year basketball coach and the basketball coach at Texico, NM were brothers, and they thought it would be fun to get their teams together for a little “my teams’s better than your team contest.” So, the idea was a home and home series for the current season and the following season that would be played during the Christmas break. The plan was for Texico to travel to Loop, play a friendly B-ball game after which the two teams would have a little bonding time over sandwiches and home made ice cream. The following year Loop would travel to Texico for the same deal. Sounds like a good plan right? Well it was a plan but good was a long way from what really took place.

Now let me fill you in on the Loop Longhorn basketball team. It was my junior year and my first year to make the varsity squad. We had a new coach; Haley was his name, Coach Haley. He had played ball for the University of New Mexico, stood a good six-seven or better, and I can’t figure for the life of me how he ever ended up in Loop, Texas to coach basketball. It turned out to be his only year with us. I’m pretty sure he saw what was coming the next year so he took his toys and set up shop somewhere else. The thing is he was glad to be gone, and we were glad he was gone. My junior year we actually had a good team…because of the seniors. My senior year we actually had a bad team…because of the seniors.

Our year started off good enough. We had a few wins under our belt, and it looked like we had a good shot at winning district. Then things started to fall apart. I don’t know how to put this except to say Coach Haley was a slave driver who hadn’t a care in the world about his players. All he was about was winning. He’d get mad at the drop of a ball, jump up from his seat on the end of the bench, and come looking for someone to put into the game. Now in all of my playing days up to this point a coach didn’t have to look far for me because I made it my habit to sit right next to him. I wanted to be readily available. This year was different however. When Haley got up he had to walk a few steps to get to us. We all wanted to get as far away from him a possible, and with only two or three of us on the bench as far as possible was a nice distance away. What had started as a squad of ten had become a mini squad of seven. There were seven of us who stayed with him the whole season; a season that ended with a record of 20 wins and 2 losses. It should have been a fun season for us, but instead it was misery. 

Ok, back to the game. To be honest, and I’m sure you are happy about this, I don’t remember much about the game. What I do remember is that by the end of the game I had played more minutes of varsity basketball than I ever had before, or ever would again, and I had had a blast doing it. The reason? Our dear Coach Haley was watching the game from the door leading to the boy’s locker room. He was standing looking around the left side of the door, and his brother was standing looking around the right side of door. They had both been ejected from the game. Both teams were playing coach-less. We were in charge of ourselves, what few of ourselves remained that is. By the fourth quarter we were playing three on three full court basketball. There were only three players on each team who hadn’t fouled out. Yup, a regular ole neighborhood pickup basketball game had broken out in the Loop High Gymnasium.

Well, us Loop kids had lot a sandwiches and ice cream to eat after the game. Texico didn’t hang around for any fellowship, or brotherly love team bonding. They didn’t even take any food with them. They just got on the bus and headed home. It’s probably a good thing the game was played a few days after Christmas instead of a few days before cause I spect the next Haley brother’s get together was a thing of ugly. I don’t know if the Texico Coach Haley was still around when we traveled up to play them in the second game that should have never been played, but I know our coach Haley was long gone by then. He knew what was coming. That team that had gone 20 & 2 my junior year became a team that went 2 & 20 my senior year. I’m pretty sure that if he had still been around our season would have simply been canceled for lack of players. Either that or we would have played some of the world’s first ever two on five full court basketball.

Have a great weekend.

Till next time,

Grump

My friend, and more importantly my Christian brother, George Painter is dying. He started feeling bad a couple of months ago, and after going to the Doctor found out that he has cancer…everywhere. It took a few weeks from the time he first saw the Doctor until his cancer was confirmed, but once it was determined that he in fact was inflicted, he was told he had two or three weeks to live.

Betty, his wife of well over fifty years, was at church last night. I asked her how George was doing and she said, “Better than me.” Betty said “He’s ready to go, he has accepted his fate, and he is at peace, and that makes it easier for me.” I watched Betty until the worship service started as one person after another stopped by to visit with her. She was an absolute rock. She too has accepted his impending death, and is beginning to be at peace with it.

George is a student of the Bible. He is a follower of Christ. George has been washed in the blood of the Lamb. George walks in the light, he lives in the light, he demonstrates light, and he believes I John 1:5-7. 

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. ⁷But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 

Because he believes I John 1:5-7 George also has full confidence in I John 5:13.

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

Yes, my friend and brother is dying, and he is at peach with it because God has told him that he can know he has eternal life.

Till next time,

Grump