Way back in the days when Josh rode between us, and Miranda rode in the basket behind the seat, Paula played golf. She liked the game and was pretty good at it. We would load up the kids and head to the Gaines County golf course. We could play unlimited golf for twenty-five bucks a month plus the cart fee. There were many times the club pro would tell me to “Just leave the cart out back” when we were done because he knew we would stop playing when it got too dark to see. It was on the golf course that I came to realize Paula really paid no mind to what I had to say. 

Here’s the story. When Paula picked up the game, I bought her a driver, and two fairway woods, and then gave her the set of irons mom and dad had given me when I was in school. It was an easy sacrifice for me to make cause I never could hit those dumb irons anyway. I don’t remember how much time we spent at the driving range before she played her first round of golf, but I’d guess it to be about twelve and a half minutes. The way I see it a body only has so many strokes in it and they should not be wasted at the range. At any rate I thought my golf instruction was very good, in fact after she birdied the second hole she ever played I was thinking of becoming a golf instructor. It was soon after that however when I realized it had been her raw talent and not my expert golf instruction that had resulted in the birdie. 

Here’s the story. Paula had this funny way of rocking on her feet during her swing. I don’t know if I can describe it or not, but as she progressed through her back swing she would roll her ankles over to the right so that she was standing on the outside edge of her right foot and the inside edge of her left foot. I began telling her to change that movement, but for some reason it just wasn’t getting through to her. We had played a number of rounds of golf with me telling her the same thing over and over, and her not “getting” it, when Wayne Legan, a man who could coach anything, watched her swing one time. He then asked if he could offer a pointer that might give her more power. She said yes, and he proceeded to tell her EXACTLY the same thing I had been telling her for months. This time it clicked! 

That’s when I knew I was being an ineffective communicator to my spouse. Here’s the thing friends, everyone has their ear for hearing. What I mean is, two people can say the same thing and the intended effect can be very impactful, or completely dismissed just because of the way it is said. The congregation where we worship is currently looking for a preacher. I hope we find a preacher who tells personal stories, and makes practical application of scripture as it relates to everyday living. On the other hand I know and greatly respect a man in our congregation who wants book, chapter, and verse without the personal stories. He prefers black and white facts, while I prefer the emotional touch of personal application. Neither way is right or wrong, it just boils down to personal preference. 

One of the best story telling preachers and writers I know just sent me a short assessment of my book Everyday Christianity. Here is a quote:  …I suppose that the thing I liked most about it was the transparency that is in it. I found your honesty with your struggles and victories most refreshing. It is an “extraordinary” book from an “extraordinary” man from that standpoint. Other than that, it offers nothing “new” or original in the way of how to deal with our struggles and heartaches. But, maybe there isn’t anything “new” – only new or original ways of saying it… 

You know what? I couldn’t agree more. I taught the lessons in the book almost five years ago, some people were brought to tears by the personal stories and application, while others thought it too abstract. Some encouraged me to write a book so more people could be reached, while others thought it was touching only because the audience knew me personally. They questioned whether or not the book, or my speaking style, would mean much to folks who didn’t know me. Guess what? Both sides were, and are, correct in their assessment. Let me tell you something that many of you won’t understand. I have tried to read Rick Warrens, The Purpose Driven Life on two different occasions, and I haven’t done it yet. I am thankful that Rick’s book has touched millions of lives, but for some reason it just hasn’t grabbed me. 

Friends, my meager effort at teaching and writing may never touch millions. I’ve been told that my style works well for country folks and small congregations, but it will not work in the more sophisticated urban areas and large congregations.  That may be true, and I’m OK with that. After all, I’m just an ordinary man trying my best to help the folks who have an ear for my way of thinking to live their Christianity everyday.  

Till next time,

Grump