File this under the “misery loves company” heading. I am about to share one of the little things that kind of gets on my nerves. You may have never really thought about before, but after I tell you what it is, there is a good chance it will get on your nerves too. I know I had been aware of this happening throughout my life, and had always been told to try and avoid it, but it really came to the forefront when I was involved in Toastmasters. 

Toastmasters International is a wonderful origination that is designed to help people learn how to speak in front of people. There is a fear that some folks have of speaking publicly, and Toastmasters is an awesome tool to help folks get over their fear, and train them how to become better at public speaking even after the fear has been conquered. Now I have personally been speaking in front of crowds since I was around six years old, and fear has never been a problem for me. I went to experience Toastmasters so I could pick up a few pointers on how to become a better speaker.  I think my time with them was good, but I don’t think I changed much. 

One of the differences in my style and the Toastmaster style is that I am an extemporaneous speaker. Give me a few bullet points and turn me loose, whereas the Toastmasters way is much more structured. They want a speaker to “tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you told them.” They are heavy on the “make three points” in your speech thing, and I am a rabbit chaser. They have a proven formula of success, and I have an “it works for me” formula that does just that, it works for me. “I ain’t saying it’s right, but it’s so.” 

Having said all of that let me tell you what happened in Toastmasters that has caused a pain in the posterior for me. During parts of the evening as different kinds of presentations are being given they have a person assigned to the “ah” horn. The “ah” horn is one of those loud bicycle type horns with a large air bulb that you squeeze which forces the air through the horn thereby producing a loud and annoying “HONK.” The person assigned to this horn is instructed to sound the horn every time the speaker says “ah,” or “auh,” or “emmh,” during their presentation. The purpose of the horn is to bring the “ah” to the attention of the speaker. The reminder works very well, and over the course of a few speeches the speaker learns to eliminate those word-searching pauses that so many people have come to lean on. 

I like the approach, and I will gladly admit that it worked on me. I was surprised when I realized how many “ahs” I used, and I began to eliminate them. The thing is, I now hear that horn go off in my head every time I hear a speaker use that crutch. It doesn’t matter if it is a casual conversation, or a professional news anchor, when I hear “ah” I come to attention and think, that person should go to Toastmasters.   

This morning while flipping channels between Fox and Friends, and CNN, the ole “ah horn” was in a constant roar, and the biggest offender was the press secretary for the most “important” person, and office in the world, the President of the United States. Robert Gibbs is the man I am referring too. He has the unenviable job of trying to make sense of some of the things coming out of the White House. He has to come up with “off the cuff” responses to questions that are being asked by the press corp. He even has to try and make sense out of what VP Joe Biden says from time to time. I understand that he has a very tough job, but man it is hard for me to believe in what he is saying simply because it takes him a hundred “ahs” to get it said. 

So, since misery loves company, I wanted to make you aware of this little annoyance of mine. I want you to listen to the professional news anchors, correspondents, and spokes people with an ear leaned toward hearing the “ahs.” Be warned, it may drive you crazy. 

Till next time,

Grump