Had to make an early morning delivery this morning and as I was headed home I stopped at a red light behind a VW Bug. It was a pretty new vehicle, a drop top Bug with a driver talking ten miles a minute on her cell. As I sat in my Corolla behind this girl I was suddenly taken back to 1975. The night I was transported too, found me sitting behind another Bug. The difference being that this Bug was a dull faded out tan, 1967 hardtop, and the girl in it was not talking on a cell phone. I was behind her in my solid brown, loooong nose 1974 model Chevy Monte Carlo. We were both headed home from a devotional at Cindy’s house, and it was probably around 11:00 PM.
Now folks, devotionals served two purposes in my life at that time. The first being to give devotion to God, and the second to make time with the ladies. (OK, maybe that order was out of order on occasion.) I know I have said this before, but I’ll make myself clear for you. If you happen to be the kind of guy who is a little shy on confidence, and you don’t want to be rejected outright, the best plan of action is to make sure you are standing, or sitting beside the girl you want to get to know when it’s time to pray. You see, at teen devotionals it is impossible to have a prayer without holding hands. (Let me add as an aside, boys, never, and I mean NEVER, find yourself standing around a bunch of guys when it’s getting close to eating time. Even if you are not trying to get more acquainted with a certain girl, who in the name of tomato soup, wants to be holding hands with two boys while someone says grace?)
So, having said that I will confess. I had been in the “proper” position to hold hands with the girl now sitting in front of me in her tan Bug at the stop light at 34th and Quaker, in Lubbock, Texas. (Here is another one for the guys. This move somehow worked for me, however, I don’t recommend you try it in the year 2009.) As I sat behind this beauty that I was trying to impress, I came up with the attention getting idea of easing up behind her and giving her a gentle nudge with the, for ever long, front end of my Monte Carlo. You know, I still think it would have all worked out ok had she had her foot on the break. However, she had her foot on the clutch of that flyweight, motorized roller skate she was driving, and my nudge sent her rolling straight across the intersection.
Yup, it was a smooth move if I ever saw one. Here was this girl I was trying to impress, headed dangerously into cross traffic. Guess what? The Lord was with her that night. There was not a car in sight as she drifted across Quaker Avenue. And, the Lord was with me too that night. I married that girl a few months after that, and thirty-three years later she is still putting up with my smooth moves.
Boys, I need to tell you why this move should not be executed in 2009. The cars in the 1970’s had real bumpers. You could use those things as a battering ram and cause absolutely no damage to the vehicle. Unless of course the driver in front of you wasn’t using their breaks.
Till next time.
Grump