I am going to end this week of posts with three things I have observed this week, and my reaction to them. 

First:  This one is just a little annoying to me. Over the course of the last four years I have been in the position to hear the National Anthem being sung approximately two hundred seventy-two times. Most of them have been pretty good performances. There have been some who had not business singing anything, anywhere but in the shower, but that is not my beef. My beef concerns those who choose to re-write the song. Last night’s version may have been the most annoying of the bunch. This young lady started off pretty well, but then throughout the duration of the song she took the liberty of singing it in at least a half dozen different time beats, and maybe three different keys. She started the song in ¾ time, and then went to 2/2 time, she may have used a little 6/8 time, and as far as I’m concerned I think she may have ended up on 39/27 time. I wish folks would just sing it as it is written so the rest of us could sing along. 

Second:  There are way to many people in America eating way too much food. If we can become as concerned about this problem as we are about killing all the bacteria on our grocery carts (see germ-a-phobics post from June 8th) we could become a more fit nation. It appears to me that many people’s nutrition plan involves eating as fast as they can so the brain cannot figure out the belly is full. But, they realize they shouldn’t eat so much, so they counter act the over eating by washing the food down with largest DIET drink known to man. Yup, that should solve the problem. 

Third:  It is amazing to me how many folks chew with their mouths open. I mean Grand Canyon open. Can you say “GROSS?!!!” Please friends, gently close your lips and chew, you don’t have to kill the food while eating it, it’s already dead. All you are doing is breaking the food down so it can be easily swallowed. 

Any of you guys old enough to remember that line by Quick Draw McGraw? He would tell the bad guy to; “Hold on there!” remember that? Well, hold on there, I have just come up with a great new diet plan. How about we take a complete stranger, someone who eats with their mouths wide open while rolling the food around inside, and sit them directly across from the folks eating that “super, grande, biggie, colossal sized meal. Now we instruct those folks to look intently inside the mouths of the gaping hole eaters while eating their meal. Yup, I think that’s it, the ultimate eat less plan.  

Have a great weekend friends. 

Till next time,

Grump

About two years ago Harold and Shirley Poland came to me saying they wanted to sell their house in Plano and move to Denver. The thinking was that Harold wanted to get closer to his family. We discussed what their house was worth, and they went to Denver to see what kind of housing they could afford there. After a few months they determined that they should just stay where they were. 

In January of this year I looked up from my visitor-greeting counter at church to see them headed my way. This time they wanted to see about selling their house so they could move to South Texas. Shirley’s family is located there, and Harold was showing signs of Alzheimer’s. They thought it might be best to get close to family so Shirley would have help taking care of Harold in the coming years. 

Shirley is very good at looking after her money, so she was concerned about the “down” housing market. She told me, “Kent, I really think it will be a year and a half to two years before we are ready to do this. I want to get the most I can for the house.” The next time I saw them at church Harold came up to me expressing his excitement about moving so they would be closer to family. I told him that Shirley was thinking of waiting another year or two. He was taken by surprise and said, ”We’ll see about that.” Sure enough within a week Shirley called to tell me they were ready to sell the house. 

The end result is, we put the house on the market, and received a full price offer from the first people who saw it. They have a daughter living in the same subdivision and wanted to move closer to family. Harold and Shirley went to South Central Texas, and found a place to buy. All of this was done, and the move made within a month and a half of the time they decided to move. And now, I’ll share the amazing, bittersweet, “rest of the story.” 

Within a few days of the Poland’s move to get close to Shirley’s family, Harold had a heart attack. He managed to live through it, but there was so much damage done due to lack of oxygen that he has slipped into a coma.  I received word this morning that Harold has been moved from the Hospital’s ICU unit, and is now residing in a Hospices care facility. The bitter side is knowing that Harold is already gone for all practical purposes. He is still breathing, he is still alive, but he will soon move once again. The sweet is knowing that Shirley was able to move back home before all of this happened. The sugary sweet part is knowing that God had a hand in all of it. 

The providence of God is an amazing thing. It can’t be understood by us. We can’t really explain why and how things happen the way they do. We can only live in the faith of knowing that God is in control. Consider this friends, by the time we received an offer on their house and executed the contract, Harold was in such a state of mind that when asked for his Drivers License, he fumbled and sorted and looked at cards, and then said to me, “Here, just take the one you want.”  But, just two weeks earlier, he had learned that Shirley was thinking of waiting for a better market before selling their house, and had been of sound enough mind to say, “We’ll see about that.”  

Lord, thanks for taking care of us. Thanks for guiding us in the right direction through Your providence. Help us to always be aware of that guidance, help us to accept the help You offer, help us to allow You to be in control. 

Till next time,

Grump

One of the things my ole buddy Czech used to say is, “Is it true what they say?” not really referring to anything in particular. I guess he was just trying to see where the question would lead. Well Ancinec, I found out that it is true what “they” say, at least when “they” say, “Confession is good for the soul.” 

I could not believe how I felt after the confession. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I could breath normally. I felt clean. I felt un-guilty for the first time in years. The confession took place this past weekend while Paula and I were in Abilene for our family reunion. I don’t remember who all was there to hear it, and it didn’t matter if anyone heard except me. 

“Hey Grump.” 

“What?” 

“Not to interrupt or anything, but don’t you mean when you said it, instead of when you heard it?” 

“No, I meant what I said, you don’t think I was talking about my confession do you?” 

“Well, yes. How else could it have made you feel the way you described!?” 

“Hey now don’t go get’n all huffy on me. You’re the one who broke into my story here.” 

Now, where was I? Oh yes. I have no ides how the conversation got there but somehow I had mentioned that when she was gone for a few days I didn’t make the bed. That’s when she said it. She said, “Yep, I don’t make the bed when you’re not home either.” I didn’t say a thing. I was literally dumbfounded. I have no idea how many years I had gone about my business while Paula was out of town, always feeling guilty about not having made the bed before I left the house that morning. Sometimes I’d find myself carrying on a conversation in my head, me trying to defend my laziness while making one excuse after another. Or, sometimes I found myself thinking, What if she comes home early and catches me red handed with an unmade bed?   

Isn’t it amazing? All those years of butterflies, all those years of nightmares, all those years of hoping she wasn’t home when I got home, so I could go ahead and make the bed, all that suffering, suddenly gone. Wow, I wish we’d had that conversation decades ago. At least the air has been cleared now. 

I think I’ll get on line and find somewhere for her to go, just to see how good it feels to have her gone with me knowing it’s ok to be a bum for a few days. 

Till next time,

Grump      

File this under the “misery loves company” heading. I am about to share one of the little things that kind of gets on my nerves. You may have never really thought about before, but after I tell you what it is, there is a good chance it will get on your nerves too. I know I had been aware of this happening throughout my life, and had always been told to try and avoid it, but it really came to the forefront when I was involved in Toastmasters. 

Toastmasters International is a wonderful origination that is designed to help people learn how to speak in front of people. There is a fear that some folks have of speaking publicly, and Toastmasters is an awesome tool to help folks get over their fear, and train them how to become better at public speaking even after the fear has been conquered. Now I have personally been speaking in front of crowds since I was around six years old, and fear has never been a problem for me. I went to experience Toastmasters so I could pick up a few pointers on how to become a better speaker.  I think my time with them was good, but I don’t think I changed much. 

One of the differences in my style and the Toastmaster style is that I am an extemporaneous speaker. Give me a few bullet points and turn me loose, whereas the Toastmasters way is much more structured. They want a speaker to “tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you told them.” They are heavy on the “make three points” in your speech thing, and I am a rabbit chaser. They have a proven formula of success, and I have an “it works for me” formula that does just that, it works for me. “I ain’t saying it’s right, but it’s so.” 

Having said all of that let me tell you what happened in Toastmasters that has caused a pain in the posterior for me. During parts of the evening as different kinds of presentations are being given they have a person assigned to the “ah” horn. The “ah” horn is one of those loud bicycle type horns with a large air bulb that you squeeze which forces the air through the horn thereby producing a loud and annoying “HONK.” The person assigned to this horn is instructed to sound the horn every time the speaker says “ah,” or “auh,” or “emmh,” during their presentation. The purpose of the horn is to bring the “ah” to the attention of the speaker. The reminder works very well, and over the course of a few speeches the speaker learns to eliminate those word-searching pauses that so many people have come to lean on. 

I like the approach, and I will gladly admit that it worked on me. I was surprised when I realized how many “ahs” I used, and I began to eliminate them. The thing is, I now hear that horn go off in my head every time I hear a speaker use that crutch. It doesn’t matter if it is a casual conversation, or a professional news anchor, when I hear “ah” I come to attention and think, that person should go to Toastmasters.   

This morning while flipping channels between Fox and Friends, and CNN, the ole “ah horn” was in a constant roar, and the biggest offender was the press secretary for the most “important” person, and office in the world, the President of the United States. Robert Gibbs is the man I am referring too. He has the unenviable job of trying to make sense of some of the things coming out of the White House. He has to come up with “off the cuff” responses to questions that are being asked by the press corp. He even has to try and make sense out of what VP Joe Biden says from time to time. I understand that he has a very tough job, but man it is hard for me to believe in what he is saying simply because it takes him a hundred “ahs” to get it said. 

So, since misery loves company, I wanted to make you aware of this little annoyance of mine. I want you to listen to the professional news anchors, correspondents, and spokes people with an ear leaned toward hearing the “ahs.” Be warned, it may drive you crazy. 

Till next time,

Grump   

It seems like most families have some kind of family get together every summer. I just saw on Facebook where some friends of ours went with their family to Cozumel. I know another fairly large family that is taking a cruise later this year. Paula’s mom’s side of the family is pretty large, and this past weekend they were at a youth camp in New Mexico. I think there were about one hundred sixty five people there. We did not make that one however because my family got together in Abilene at my big sister’s house. 

Our reunion is just the Homer Smith family. Mom and Dad have three kids. I am in the middle of the sisters, one four years older and one five years younger. We have now grown to a family of thirty-three people, which includes six grandchildren, and thirteen great grandchildren for mom and dad. We are a blessed family. 

If your family is like ours, you may be experiencing some growing pains. It’s nothing new, and it’s nothing that should not be expected. As families grow the locations they attend change. A family needs to consider the little ones, and the kinds of activities that will keep them busy. A family needs to consider cost. Not everyone is flush with money. A family as it grows, outgrows the locations it has used in the past. For a few years we met at Brownwood Lake and we all fit in two singlewide mobile homes. Once the first four great grand kids were in their two’s a new crop of babies was on the way and it was time to move to a larger place. 

For the last four years we have met at my sister’s home in Abilene. It’s not a big house. I think it’s around 2,200 sq/ft, but the back yard is very large, so we have been putting up tents for each family. Evon and Don added a small pool a few years ago, and the kids love being in it every day, for all day. However, we now have a couple of more babies in bunch, and word is there are at least two couples planning to have even more. So, it’s time to move again. We had our family meeting yesterday after worship to discuss the possibilities for next year. It was sad to have to talk about not going back to Abilene, but as I said before, as families grow, changes come. 

Here’s the thing friends, I don’t know where we will get together next year. I know it will be centrally located for everyone. I know it will be as inexpensive as possible. If we go to a lake there will be skiing. If there is a golf course nearby there will be golf played. There will be four babies who have learned to walk since we left each other yesterday, and that original group of four two year olds will all be eight years old. The Lord willing Dad will have just turned eighty years old when we meet next year, and the Lord willing, there will be two more babies either there, or at least on the way. We are a blessed family.  

Folks, here is the reason I’m telling you all of this. You also have families that are changing. Families grow. Families mature. Families suffer losses. And with each birth, or death, or each uneventful year, the family changes just a little. You know, it’s my personal experience that relationships change within the family. A close pair may not be close anymore, as interests differ throughout the years. That cousin you used to not have much patience for is now the one you can’t wait to see. Cherish, your family. Love your family. Thank God for your family. 

Dear Father, thank you for this past weekend. Thank you for blessing our family. Thank You for the food, the pool, and the great back yard. Thank You for the conversation, the golf and the forty-two. Thank You for the voices we used to praise You on Saturday night, and the communion we shared withYou Sunday morning. And Father keep us safe and healthy as we grow and change during this coming year. Guard our marriages, and our children. Please don’t allow age, or accident, or disease to take any of us away, but if it does help us celebrate the loss as a victory, and see it as the beginning of a new reunion. Amen. 

Till next time,

Grump

Had to make an early morning delivery this morning and as I was headed home I stopped at a red light behind a VW Bug. It was a pretty new vehicle, a drop top Bug with a driver talking ten miles a minute on her cell. As I sat in my Corolla behind this girl I was suddenly taken back to 1975. The night I was transported too, found me sitting behind another Bug. The difference being that this Bug was a dull faded out tan, 1967 hardtop, and the girl in it was not talking on a cell phone. I was behind her in my solid brown, loooong nose 1974 model Chevy Monte Carlo. We were both headed home from a devotional at Cindy’s house, and it was probably around 11:00 PM. 

Now folks, devotionals served two purposes in my life at that time. The first being to give devotion to God, and the second to make time with the ladies. (OK, maybe that order was out of order on occasion.) I know I have said this before, but I’ll make myself clear for you. If you happen to be the kind of guy who is a little shy on confidence, and you don’t want to be rejected outright, the best plan of action is to make sure you are standing, or sitting beside the girl you want to get to know when it’s time to pray. You see, at teen devotionals it is impossible to have a prayer without holding hands. (Let me add as an aside, boys, never, and I mean NEVER, find yourself standing around a bunch of guys when it’s getting close to eating time. Even if you are not trying to get more acquainted with a certain girl, who in the name of tomato soup, wants to be holding hands with two boys while someone says grace?)  

So, having said that I will confess. I had been in the “proper” position to hold hands with the girl now sitting in front of me in her tan Bug at the stop light at 34^th and Quaker, in Lubbock, Texas. (Here is another one for the guys. This move somehow worked for me, however, I don’t recommend you try it in the year 2009.) As I sat behind this beauty that I was trying to impress, I came up with the attention getting idea of easing up behind her and giving her a gentle nudge with the, for ever long, front end of my Monte Carlo. You know, I still think it would have all worked out ok had she had her foot on the break. However, she had her foot on the clutch of that flyweight, motorized roller skate she was driving, and my nudge sent her rolling straight across the intersection. 

Yup, it was a smooth move if I ever saw one. Here was this girl I was trying to impress, headed dangerously into cross traffic. Guess what? The Lord was with her that night. There was not a car in sight as she drifted across Quaker Avenue. And, the Lord was with me too that night. I married that girl a few months after that, and thirty-three years later she is still putting up with my smooth moves. 

Boys, I need to tell you why this move should not be executed in 2009. The cars in the 1970’s had real bumpers. You could use those things as a battering ram and cause absolutely no damage to the vehicle. Unless of course the driver in front of you wasn’t using their breaks. 

Till next time.

Grump

Well guys, sometimes you have to get serious, and it looks like this is one of those times. Serious writing is hard to do because I don’t want to come across as preachy, and I don’t want to get political, but sometimes there are things that need to be addressed. 

Last night I finished reading Glenn Beck’s Common Sense. The subtitle is: The Case Against An Out-of-Control Government, Inspired By Thomas Paine. Glenn’s book is political, but it’s not partisan politics. He goes after Bush, and Obama. He takes on both houses of Congress, and both sides of the isle in the Senate. He talks about the “progressives” and their agenda. He gives examples of how the very things that our government is leading us into has already been tried, and shown to fail, in other parts of the world. The interesting thing is, everything he talks about was warned against by our founding fathers. 

I’m not going to give any more of a book review than what you just read. I do want to encourage you to get a copy of Common Sense, and read it for yourself. I heard Glenn say recently, “Buy a copy, and then give it to a friend, I don’t care how many copies are sold I just want people to read it.” I honestly believe that is his purpose because the book was released in paperback. He wants the book to be affordable so more people will buy it. He wants his warning to be heard by the people of the United States of America. 

Mr. Beck is calling us to action, no, to revolution. Not a revolution of arms, but a revolution of being heard, and making government work for us instead of for itself. Friends it will take commitment like most of us have never known. It will take the kind of dedication that I have never had. It will take a massive movement unlike anything this country has ever seen, but I believe, as Glenn does, that we must revolt, or America will become one more example of a socialist country that has risen to great heights, only too fall into even greater desperation. Selfishly, I can brush off the call for revolution. I’m fifty-three years old, and even though we are in trouble as a nation, and I believe our best days are behind us if we continue on the road to Socialism, I’ll most likely be dead and gone before it’s full effects are felt. However, I have four grandchildren who will not be able to raise their children in a free United States of America if we don’t change our direction. 

My friend John Hendry says, “Once the country has more takers than givers the battle has been lost. Those people who are receiving will never vote themselves out of receiving.” Common sense tells me that he is right. Robin Hood is a good children’s story that teaches us about corrupt people taking advantage of the less fortunate, and the poor folks love that story. (Keep in mind, poor is a relative term. Go to a third world country, and your perspective of poor will most likely change.) However, what we have now is a corrupt Government, not corrupt Democrats, and not corrupt Republicans, but a corrupt bipartisan Government that is taking advantage of the very people it is supposed to be serving. 

So, what do we do? Well, let’s start with one simple, albeit almost impossible, step. Let’s vote in term limits for all Congressional, and Senatorial seats. The idea of lifetime appointments, or perpetual power has proven to be corrupting in and of itself. 

I personally know many of you who are reading this message. If you agree with the basic concept of what I’m trying to say, let me know about it. If you agree with the intent of these thoughts, forward this message to everyone you know. The progressives have tagged Mr. Beck as a kook, and that makes it easy for many to dismiss his message. However, we have the ability to be heard because of Beck and others like him. He is calling us to action, and I believe if we refuse to take that action, our children and grandchildren will ask us why. 

Till next time,

Grump

I really need to tell you about Mr. Mac. If you have been here before you have read a couple of posts that include Mr. Mac as part of the story. The main reason for that is because Mr. Mac was such a big part of my life. He came to Loop, Texas as a coach when I was still in elementary. As is the case with a lot of coaches he later became the high school principle, and when our Superintendent, Mr. Puyear retired, Mr. McDonald moved into that position. 

He was a man of intensity. A man who commanded respect. I know a lot of us were a little afraid of him when we first came to know him. I know some of the guys who played football for him didn’t like him, but I also know a lot of them did. I first started to get to know him better as a junior high basketball player. (That’s middle school for you pc folks.) He worked us hard, but I always knew he was doing it for us. He saw enough in this mighty mite of a kid to include me on the traveling squad. I’ll never forget not sleeping well the night before we were to find out who would get to travel to the games. When he called my name it was to me, an endorsement, a belief that I could play the game, that I had accomplished something. 

I’m sure you can find a few of the former Loop High School students who never really came to appreciate Mr. Mac the way I did. I had been taught discipline and respect at home, so when he ask for respect and self-discipline, I was ready to give it. Here’s the thing, Mr. Mac would do anything he possibly could to help us, if we were willing to help ourselves. He taught us how to conduct ourselves, and how to become young men of responsibility, and he reinforced the lessons we were being taught at home. Over time many of us came to the point of being friends with Mr. Mac, and that was great because now we could still respect him, and learn even better the kind of man he was. 

I keep wanting to get into some of the things that we did that involved him, but I will be doing that from time to time in my post. So, for now I’ll just tell you Mr. Mac was a fair man, if you tried, he helped you all he could. If you didn’t care, he still cared, but I don’t really think you got to know him the way some of us did. 

 He was and is an Aggie’s, Aggie. He took my son to show him around the A&M campus, and you could actually feel the emotion he carries for the school. I remember telling one too many aggie jokes one night as the emcee of a fundraiser. Throughout the evening we had been auctioning ourselves to the highest bidder in return for a day of work. As I delivered the punch line he came walking up from the back of the auditorium, proclaiming as he walked, “I’m buying Smith right now!”  I sure was glad the work day didn’t start right then because if it had, I might not be writing this post right now. 

Years later, I had the privilege of being one of the speakers at his retirement roast. It was a great evening, filled with stories and exaggerations, but I am quite sure I didn’t tell any aggie jokes. Once it came his turn to speak Mr. McDonald told the crowd, “All of Kent Smith’s life, he has struggled and worked hard to be the best at whatever he was involved in, and tonight, I want to announce to you that Kent Smith is the youngest ever President of the Texas Independent Ginner Association.”  

Now that’s my main man Mr. Fred McDonald. He had the chance to roast me well done, but instead he gave me honor. I’ll be sharing some tall tales that include Mr. Mac from time to time, but for now I want to finish with this.  Mr. Mac. whatever I have become, whatever I have accomplished, has been in part because you gave yourself to me. You were an example, a counselor, a motivator, and a confidant.  Thank you, and I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before, I love you friend. 

Till next time,

Grump

Hi Friends, and thanks for dropping by to see what I have to say today. Today I want to share a few exciting things that are happening for Everyday Christianity and Grumpy Smith.  

At 2:30 this afternoon I will be getting a call from Diana Kay, the host of an Internet site, which specializes in interviewing authors about their books. Each author is interviewed by Diana, and is given a fifteen minute recorded segment on her site. This should give me a wonderful boost of exposure. (Unlike the embarrassing kind of exposure I told you about in yesterday’s blog.) I don’t know for sure when the tape will be posted on her site, but you can check in and find it at:  http://authorsbeat.com  

This is one of those things that I may never actually find, or hear on the radio, but I also have some twenty to thirty second interview clips running on Christian radio stations across the country. These spots were recorded a couple of weeks ago by John Clemens for the USA Radio Network. John is the stadium announcer at the Dr. Pepper Ballpark in Frisco, Texas. Since finding out about my book Everyday Christianity he has been an active force in helping me promote the book, and I am praying that his influence will help me gain a guest appearance on Point of View, a nationally broadcast radio talk show hosted by Kerby Anderson. His show is broadcast five days week on radio stations across the country. http://www.irnusaradio.com/our-programs/point-of-view  

Later this year, a date has not been set; I will be a guest on Build a Better You. Build a Better You is a radio show hosted by nationally known author, and speaker Bryan Dodge. Bryan’s current book, The Good Life Rules, sold out of it’s first printing of fifty thousand copies in about two months. The first printing was expected to be enough books for eight to ten months. Bryan’s show is broadcast every Saturday in the DFW area on WBAP 820 AM Radio. Bryan recently included Everyday Christianity in his list of book recommendations on his web site. Thanks Bryan! Once again the Lord has blessed me with another amazing avenue for promoting the work He is helping me do. Please check out Bryan at, http://bryandodge.com   

Now just a little clean up work. I was asked this past Sunday, “Are you still active in real estate?” The answer is yes! I am still associated with Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage. If you, or anyone you know, are looking to sell or buy a home in the DFW area, please give me a call at: 972-989-0782 or email me at: kent.smith@cbdfw.com. And finally, if you have read Everyday Christianity by Grumpy Smith, thank you. I hope there was something in the book that touched you in a personal way, and if it did please tell everyone you know about the book. If you have not yet read it, please get a copy and see what you think. If you are like most of the folks who have read it you will identify with at least part of the story. You can find the book at www.amazon.com, www.bn.com, or www.grumpysmith.com. It can also be found at Mardel in Frisco, Lewisville, and Denton, Texas, and in their location in Lubbock, Texas. The Barnes and Noble Booksellers location in the Stonebriar Centre Mall in Frisco, has a wonderful display of the book featured on the Christian Book table on the lower level of the store. Yesterday there were around twenty-five copies of Everyday Christianity on the feature table. In Plano, the book is being carried by Legacy Books, located at the intersection of Legacy and the Toll Way.  

OK, OK, one last finally, I would love to come to your Church, or business, to present an uplifting message. Please give me a shout; I am looking forward to hearing from you. 

Till next time,

Grumpy

The question I kept asking was, “Why me?” But, I was asking that question in my own head even though the room had four or five people in it. All but one of them were the ones who deserved the talking too. I was about as innocent as a body could get but for some reason the other person in the room, Mr. McDonald, didn’t see it that way. He’s the one I should have been asking, “Why me?” but at the time I was probably thinking a quite mouth might be the best policy.

So let me tell what happened, and you can be the judge. I mean, if you think I should have been included, then I guess I’ve been wrong for the last thirty-five years. We were on our senior trip. I know that senior trips are largely a thing of the past, and that is most likely a good thing, but I’m sure glad we got to take one. I think there were fourteen of us who made the trip. I’m trying to remember for sure, but I think Joe Cassis got hurt playing softball the last week of school and was unable to make the trip. We had two sponsors with us. One was our English teacher Mrs. Payne, and the other was the high school superintendent Mr. McDonald.  

We left Loop, Texas at midnight on a yellow dog. The luggage had all been thrown into the bus, and we crawled on with pillows, and who knows what else for a three or four hour trip to Abilene where we would get on our chartered bus. A nice big comfy Gray Hound type bus, with lots and lots of room for fourteen graduates and two sponsors to move around in. The luggage all went under the bus in the storage area. It was a funny sight to see fourteen of us load up in the back of that bus. There must have been ten rows of seats between the chaperones and us.

Our first stop later that day was Austin, Texas. It was mid afternoon when we got to our hotel, and the first thing we did was hit the pool. Well, most of us hit the pool. There were two of us who couldn’t swim. Yes, you heard right, two of us. That includes me. I’m thinking maybe I’m too small to displace enough water to actually be floatable. You put me in the water and I sink to the bottom faster than a chunk of anvil. Derris Shults was the other non-swimmer. I had on my suit, and kinda stayed in the shallow end watching the others having all kinds of fun. After more or less sitting on the sideline for an hour, I made a decision. I walked out onto the diving board and told my trusted cronies, “I’m jumping in guys, if I don’t come up, pull me out!” I figured they’d save me cause bad as they would hate it the trip would have to end if’n I drowned, and that would have made for a very short ten day senior trip.

I figure since I’m writing this blog you already know I made it out OK. So the rest of the trip was set, I really couldn’t really swim, but I could jump toward the side of the pool and dog paddle my way to safety. Yup, it was going to be a great ten day trip. We were scheduled to go to San Antonio, Corpus Christi, New Orleans, Vicksburg, Mississippi, and Dallas, before making it back home. I have already told you there were fourteen of us. What I haven’t told you is how bad the ratio of boys to girls was. There were nine guys and five girls…not zaclly how I’d a done it, but it was what it was.

Well we left the next day for San Antonio, and got to the hotel in the afternoon again. Sure enough everybody hit the pool as fast as we could. We almost had the place all to ourselves, but there was one young married couple and their two small children down at the shallow end. We were having a great time when I became aware that a plan was being hatched. I saw a whisper here and a motion there. I knew something was up and I wanted to be in on whatever it was. I’ve already introduce you to the guys I did most of my running with, but I’ll refresh your memory. There was Craig Ancinec, or Czech as we called him, then there was Mike Young, who also went by Chung, and finally his cousin Tony Hord, AKA, Tony Hord. Those were the guys who were making the plan I wanted in on, and I was successful in being included. It just wasn’t the kind of inclusion I had in mind.

I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but when I heard Czech tell Chung, “Your job is to keep him from drowning.” I figured I was the central character in whatever was about to take place. With that I backed up to the fence and grabbed on for all I was worth. There was a big struggle taking place now with guys pealing my fingers from the wire. The kidnapping included a lot of yelling as you can imagine, and soon everyone was watching, and screaming and laughing. Well try as I might I couldn’t hang on, and soon found myself being flung into the pool. The next thing I knew there was someone holding me around my chest and someone else tugging at my trunks. Then I opened my eyes and saw all these bubbles, and quickly ascertained they were coming from me! What little air I had left was vacating my Adonis body with rapid speed! I swiftly came to the conclusion that giving up the trunks was the wisest course of action.

As soon as I came up for air I headed for the side of the pool with the speed of a snail. When I finally arrived I looked up and saw the ten feet of the five females who were all standing on the edge of the pool gawking. I think I could have lived without the nightmares I’ve suffered for the last thirty plus years if they hadn’t been pointing and laughing so hard. Now here’s where things started to fall apart. It was only a very short time till word came to the pool by way of the hotel manager that we were to vacate the area posthaste. And to make matters worse, four of us were being summoned to the hotel room of Mr. Mac.

It seems that the young couple with the two young kids weren’t too keen on an eighteen year old going skinny-dipping with their young’ns. “Boys,” he said, “I’m about to send all of you home, and it ‘s going to look real bad when I send the three sons of school board members home from the senior trip.”

 So now you know why I kept asking “Why me?” I mean, all I did was allow myself a little freedom from the restriction of a tight pair of swim trunks, er, ah, um,…I mean I just let the trunks go so I wouldn’t drown! What else was I posed to do? So, please tell me, should I have been included in the come to Mr. Mac meeting?

Till next time,

Grump