Life as I have known it for fifty-three years has changed. Maybe I should have seen it coming, but somehow I missed it. Since I consider myself an ordinary man I just never really thought that I would be in the position that I realize I am now in. Oh yes, I’ve had a lot of friends laugh and talk about how they could one day say, “I knew Kent back when…” Or they would joke about how one day I would be too important to talk to them. I’ve always just laughed it off, and figured they were just fun’n me.

That is until yesterday. I was going about my daily activity at Chick-fil-A, bussing tables, getting drink refills for the customers, and just being the warm and charming guy that I so naturally am. The women always make comments about me being the cutest Chick-fil-A guy they have ever seen, while the men all want to know my secret. I thought everything was going just as planned, you know, my flying under the radar, trying to live as normal a life as possible given the fact that…well let’s just say that…wow, I don’t know how to put it so I’ll just leave it at that. I am trying to live as normal a life as possible.

But, it appears I will now be changing the way I live, and move about around town. You see this young lady walked into the Chick and immediately saw me, and her words were without question. She didn’t say are you? No she said with full confidence, “Your Kent Smith!” I knew instantly there was no reason to deny it, no way of making her believe that she was mistaken. I had to own up to fact that she was right.

I’ve put the first steps in motion to try and get my life back. I’ve checked into personal security matters. The company I’ve decided to go with recommended two 24/7-body guards. They also think I should get heavily tinted windows on my Corolla. The expectations are for the poparrattzie, (oops my spell check doesn’t recognize that word.) the papelratzze ( humm that doesn’t seem to ring a bell with my computer either) they  told me those annoying picture takers might show up at any minute.

After things went out of control at the mention of my name at the Chick, I was whisked away by a loyal member of my fan club,…ok,…it was me. Once I was safely back home I started putting things together, and realized how far behind the curve I really am.  I have been under surveillance at my own house for a couple of weeks. I thought it strange when three ducks, one female, and two male mallards showed up in my front yard a couple of weeks ago, but I honestly thought they had some kind of illicit somethin or nother going on and had been cast from the flock over at the golf course. Then there’s the thing about the two rabbits that have been hang’n in the back yard. I thought I had caught them peep’n in the breakfast nook window the other morning, and then I swear I saw one of them with a pair of binocks. How could I have not put all this together?

Once I had taken the time to digest all of this I knew I had to start parking in the garage so the ducks out front, and rabbits in the back wouldn’t know when I was leaving the house.    But, even that is too late. As I opened the door of the car after closing the garage using the remote door closer, I caught a movement in my peripheral vision. There he was up in the corner. He was wearing the perfect camo, and blended in flawlessly with the dirty off white paint on the interior walls of my garage, a sneaky little gecko. I may have missed him altogether had it not been for the men in black sunglasses, and the fact that he was talking into the sleeve of his cheep hotel curtain jacket.

Well that did it for me. I have placed a call for Tiger, and I expect his response soon. I have also sent an email marked urgent to Paris Hilton, and Brittany Spears. I am quite sure they can give me some insight into how to handle my newfound fame. I thought about contacting TomKat, but I really think he might be a little too far off his rocker to help me out, so I’ve called Ozzie instead. 

“…What?”  “Whad da ya mean wake up?”

Oh, well turns out it was just a bad dream. I really am the same ole ordinary man I’ve always been, but the young lady was real, and she said what I said she said. “Your Kent Smith.” Then she continued, “we used your book in our small group study down at Prestoncrest church of Christ, and I just want to tell you how much we enjoyed it. By the way, Taylor Jackson is your biggest fan.” That might be because Taylor took the photo on, and designed the cover for Everyday Christianity.

Yesterday in my blog I told you about a couple of guys who had been touched by the things I  had said or written, and today I have told you about a young lady who was touched by my book. She also told me that she reads this blog everyday, so, Andrea Reynolds, thanks for introducing yourself to me yesterday, and giving me an “atta-boy.”

To God Be The Glory!

Till next time,

Grump