Kent, you have a need to win.

·  You are competitive and you naturally take charge of any situation you encounter.

·  You enjoy being direct and can offend people with less Red without being aware of it, since directness comes naturally to you.

·  Your ability to be direct can come across as abrasive and dictatorial. Because you are focused, you can appear to act impulsively.

·  Your comfort with doing the next thing accounts for you coming across as demanding.

·  Kent, you think you should know what you are suppose to do.

·  You think that people should know what they are doing.

·  You prefer to lead by example: You say just do something

The list above is a compilation of three lists that make up the Talent DNA I possess. I have brought them all together to show the overall picture of this particular trait. Tomorrow I will discuss another trait. The following is my knee jerk reaction to these conclusions.

Well lets see here…seems as though I am a demanding type fellow. The thing is other people have to point out to me how demanding I am. As the thing says, I enjoy being direct. I must say that I know this to be true. I do prefer the direct approach. Don’t beat around the bush while giving me instructions, or assigning me a task. Just tell me what you want done and then git outa my way. Coming from the other side of the scenario, when I am going to give you instructions I’m going to do it in a matter of fact style.

Folks, this has caused problems for me, but I am getting better. If you work with me now, and think I am demanding, you should have known me a few years ago. One of the reasons I am getting better is that as my kids have gotten older they are no longer afraid of me, and they love me enough to help me see how I can come across without knowing it. I often find myself using the “break-thought” strategy when I am giving instruction to folks. When I take that extra second, I allow myself to consider how the other person is receiving me. 

Next, it looks like I expect people to know what their job is, and then I expect them to get that job done. I remember as kid growing up I was this way. I can remember Dad or Uncle Rayburn taking me to the tractor of a morning, and telling me to take the tractor over to the Dent Place, start on the north side, and start plowing. I would take off, go do what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t expect to see them again until it was time for me to be picked up. I wanted it that way. I wanted to be given a job and then left alone. Now, that doesn’t mean I never asked questions. It does mean that once I understood what they wanted done, I wanted them out of the way.

I found out when my son Josh was freshman in high school he liked things the same way. We went to the farm one morning and I wanted him to do a job he’d not done before. We didn’t have the GPS systems that many tractors are equipped with now days, so he would be called on to concentrate on making straight rows with the lister. The rows he laid out would be the foundation for work we did in the cotton growing operation for the rest of the year. He got on the tractor and headed south, making the rows of plant beds where we would later plant the cotton. He had to follow a line in the dirt that had been made on the previous pass through the field, and each time he made a pass the marker would make a new line for him to follow on his way back. Since this was his first time, and since I wanted to see how straight he could do the job, I drove around to the other end of the rows he was making, and sat and waited for him to get the first pass done. When he got to me, he got off the tractor walk up to me, and said, “you planning on sit’n here and watching me all day.” (Yes, it was a statement, not a question.)  As I got in the pickup and drove off I had to smile…my boy was just like me.

Finally, my Talent DNA shows that I have a need to win. I love winning, I enjoy competing, and I expect success.  This “winning” thing is not only relevant in sports; it’s relevant in everything we do. When I complete a job, I have won. Once a task has been accomplished, I have won. To me winning is getting things done, finishing what I started. I think that’s why writing my second book, the one I’m working on now, is so frustrating to me. I have a job to do, and I want to get it done. I want the victory of the books completion. The problem is I have so many other things I have to do, so many other things that get in the way. Now, I know that sounds like an excuse, and maybe to a more organized person it is, but by the time I punch the clock at my “make a living jobs” I am spent. It is very difficult to get into the proper mind set to write. So I need to find a way to fit it all in.

This having to get things done trait can be very taxing on those around me. The other day at work, one of my co-workers asked me why I was mad. I didn’t realize I was coming across as being mad. I just had a job to do and I was focused on getting it done. As a result my body language was sending signals that I wasn’t aware of.

One last thing before I let you go. This having to win thing, may be detrimental to Paula’s health. Well, I guess it was tough on the kids too. You see, going somewhere is a task, or job. It is something that has to be done, and I can’t “win” until I get to where I’m going, or until the task is complete. So to me having to stop is impeding my progress to victory. I mean, I told them to go to the bathroom before we left, why do they need to stop now, its only been four hours! 

Till next time,

Grump